The Business of Parenting - Part 2

So, now it’s time to decide how far you’re going to go with the design or redesign of your future adults. You don’t have to make all the decisions right away, but you do have to start to get a handle on what you would like to see happen. So far, you have decided that something needs to happen with regards to planning or modifying the behavior component or the attitude component of your child and you’ve decided that this project is important enough that you are going to get fully behind it and commit as many resources as you have available to you.

Of course, if there are two project managers on this project -- two parents, that is -- by now, you have also secured the commitment of the other project manager. I can’t think of very many projects out there, that were finished easily or on budget, if there were two owners and both didn’t want to see the project completed successfully.

For example, if you are designing a new computer software program and one project manager organizes getting a whole bunch of programming completed and then the other comes along and deletes all the files, just think how far you would NOT get fast.

Parenting is like that. Both project managers have to be fully on board at all times and working as a high-functioning team. Like any major project, the stakes are too high to allow destructive actions from one or more team members.

Even if you are operating solo, unless the other project manager is deceased, both project managers have to decide jointly to get behind the project to produce a well-balanced, well-behaved adult. The behavior and attitude components in unfinished adults tend to be highly sensitive and once damaged, they are not easily repaired and can malfunction repeatedly for years to come. It is by far the best idea to do everything possible to avoid damage in the first place. If you have one project manager constantly sabotaging the other’s efforts, this project will fall flat on its face fast.

In business, we call this industrial espionage and in parenting, it’s called psychological warfare. Just ask any unfinished adult (child) how he or she feels about living in a war zone between two project managers who have decided not to work together as a team.

If you are currently, a project manager and you have been using these types of tactics, then knock it off immediately. Become organized now and join the project team in a constructive manner or I can assure you that you will more than fail your 20 year performance review.

Eventually, the unfinished adult becomes the owner of the project and when that happens, they tend to be far less forgiving than when they were still in process.